rebelbase Woodley

The last five months have been full of firsts for my wife and I.  We have experienced labor, being thrown up on, installing car seats and putting together high chairs for the first time. Tonight or this morning (I never know what to call 4 am) I am experiencing a new first and I really don’t like it.  This is the first time since becoming a father that I have been completely unable to comfort my son. 

Until now my job has been putting the little man to bed.  Don’t worry  that isn’t all I do for my son but I have been successful at calming him down and getting him to the point where he falls asleep in my arms and I can lay him in his crib.  This morning/night is the first time I have felt completely rejected by my son.  Just a few minutes ago I reluctantly got out of bed to try and soothe the crying one and instead of falling asleep in my arms he cried louder.  Finally I gave up and put him back in his bed still crying and decided that there was nothing I could do to help him.  As hard as it was to feel useless I felt worse when my wife got up and immediately the crying stopped when she picked Hayes up. 

You can probably see where I am going with this one.  It was the first time as a father that I felt rejected by my son.  The connection is hard to miss (good because I can hardly tpye corrrectly rigth now I am so tired).  I am not comparing myself to God but I think I can appreciate more fully the feeling of rejection that He feels every time we decide to reject His loving embrace.  There have been countless times in my relationship with Jesus Christ that I have felt Him put His arms around me and I have decided to struggle against His embrace and try to wiggle my way out of His grasp.  Thankfully He has never let me go but I continue to try and fight through life on my own.  Being a father is amazing but being rejected isn’t.  Thankfully our Father who loves us never gives up trying to give us peace.  As much as we squirm and cry He sings us a lullaby that ends with us face to face and singing together for eternity.